Your wedding guest list and covid-19
Does love conquer all, including covid-19?
The reality is that everyone around the world is tackling the virus, and many countries have put in place restrictions to help combat the spread. And if you’re planning a wedding during a pandemic, it can feel like a deflating experience with ever-changing updates. In New Zealand, even after reaching elimination of the virus, we’ve seen a resurgence, and our restrictions have come back into play. At any given moment, the restrictions can change… for better or worse.
Restrictions on wedding guest count
So how to plan a wedding with so much uncertainty? When it comes to wedding invitations, the three areas you need to know are the venue, the wedding date, and the number of guests you are inviting. If your original guest list is too high, and you need to reduce your guest count due to restrictions on gatherings, here are some tips on how to pare it down:
Overseas guests - Chances are, overseas guests are likely not able to travel as easily as they had hoped. Start here, count your guests who are travelling from overseas - see where that number takes you.
Out of town guests - Just like overseas guests, it’s possible that out of town guests may find it a bit of a challenge to attend depending on how far they need to travel. Look at your guests from out of town and consider those travelling a large distance that might be okay with cancelling their plans.
Those invitees that you felt you had to invite - Yes, we all have a few of these people on the list. Often they come from obligation or maybe your parents felt they needed to be invited. These guests may have been pleasantly surprised to be invited, but chances are they will totally understand your need to pare down your guest list knowing they aren’t super close to you or your partner.
The guests who were probably going to decline - There’s a chance you’ll have guests on your list that were unable to attend anyways, if you know of any, add them to your no-go list.
Kids - This one is a hot topic with wedding planning in general, is your wedding adults only or not? If you were planning to have kids at your wedding, this is one area you may wish to revisit. It’s a tricky one, so you’ll have to be comfortable with the new plan of letting guests know you’ve pared down to adults only. (Often couples that have adult-only weddings still allow babies to attend with their parents).
Plus 1’s - Ah, another hot topic, those plus 1 guests that are bringing a date you’ve never met. This is kinda an easy one to explain to a guest, that you’ve needed to pare down to bring your closest friends (and family) together, but it can sometimes be a bit hard for a loved one to understand. If you have a high number of plus 1’s that you’ve never met, consider reducing these guests - but proceed with a bit of caution. There’s a bit to consider with this one, especially if the two guests are in a relationship.
Consider a family-only event - Take it one step further and go with just family. This one is a hard decision to make because you’ve been looking forward to celebrating with all your friends too. On the other hand, going with family only is probably one of the easier ways to explain to others that they are no longer invited.
From here, if you still need to pare down you guest list further, you’ll have some hard decisions to make. It can be helpful to create a guideline of someone on the yes list or not. For example, you could agree with your partner that only guests you both know, or only guests you’ve known for a period of time. It’s not easy, especially when thinking of those close to you.
Change of plans - invitation wording
If you haven’t sent out your wedding invites, the good news is you won’t have to send out a change of plans, however you may wish to have a stand by explanation to those who might have been looking forward to attending based on your earlier plans.
But, if you have sent out your invites you may have to send a couple of different messages depending on the changes. Here are some change of plans wording examples:
GUESTS NO LONGER INVITED
Change of plans
With an abundance of caution and care for our guests, we have decided to marry in a small intimate ceremony. We sincerely appreciate your love and support, and ask that you celebrate in your heart with best wishes from afar. We look forward to when we can be together again.
With all our love, (your names)
ADDING A LIVE STREAM OPTION
Change of plans
With an abundance of caution and care for our guests, we have decided to marry in a small intimate ceremony. We sincerely appreciate your love and support, and would love if you could join us virtually instead as we say ‘I do’.
(include virtual details)
With all our love, (your names)
INVITED GUEST COUNT CHANGE
In light of the current health restrictions in our country, our wedding is sadly smaller than intended. We have reserved # of seats for you and hope you can join us as we celebrate our wedding day. Please reply by (date) to let us know if you can still attend.
All our love, (your names)
NEW DATE
Same couple, same place, new date!
(include updated details - add on any of the above info as needed)
Covid-19 wedding restrictions
Having to tell guests they are no longer invited is not easy, and can feel awkward. Take a little comfort knowing that your guests are all facing the same restrictions in life, and while you can’t control how people respond, there’s a high chance many guests will totally understand that you have to pare down your guest count due to the pandemic.