A helpful guide for your wedding invitation wording

We know how important it is to get the details right for such a monumental event, because it’s not every day that you get married! The Ess Letter has put together our top tips to help you with the correct wording and proper etiquette for your wedding invitations. Read on to get started!

What should be included in wedding invitations?

Besides the confirmed details of your wedding (your names as the couple getting married, the date of your wedding and the ceremony location) here are four things you need to know to help craft your invitation wording:

1. Ceremony start time

2. Formality of your wedding (which will impact the overall tone of your wording)

3. If your ceremony is being held in a place of worship

4. Who (if anyone) is hosting your wedding

Once you have these items sorted, we can then craft a custom wedding invitation that speaks to your day, and reflects your celebration.

What time will you begin your wedding ceremony?

In our experience, this is the one detail that couples forget - and can hold up your invitation design! Typically this is the time the actual ceremony will begin. Speak with your celebrant or church/pastor to help finalise the ceremony details. We recommend using a strict start time or adding a 15-minute buffer so guests arrive on time.

How do you want the wording to sound?

The next step is determining how you want your invitations to sound. To do this, we recommend letting the formality of your wedding dictate the tone of your invitations. 

The wording choices used for a formal wedding with a black tie dress code will incorporate language to reflect this formality. But if you are planning a casual, laid back wedding, your invitation would sound very different, with more casual wording. Letting your wedding formality dictate the tone is a helpful way to find the right words!

Are you getting married in a place of worship?

If so, there are specific words and wording we’d recommend. In particular, use traditional wording, with full names (first, middle, last), and formal language. If you are having a Catholic wedding, it’s important to let your guests know there will be a Catholic mass service in a church.

Who’s hosting the wedding?

In this context, the host is extending the invitation to the guest. When you have a host other than yourselves, it’s expected to let everyone know who they are!

If this is the case, there will be a hosting line at the very start of your invitation that indicates who is hosting. This may be you as the couple, it may be one set of parents, or it may be both sets of parents (step-parents/divorced parents are included, we can help find wording for your unique family circumstances).

If you’re reading this and wondering if you have a host, it’s likely that you don’t! But you may wish to discuss this further with your family before making that decision.

Need help with your invitation wording?

If you’re finding this process a lot to work through, you might benefit from working with a wedding invitation designer one-on-one. For The Ess Letter clients, our invitation wording assistance is included in our custom and semi-custom invitation suites. When working together, you’ll provide us details about your wedding and we will give you several invitation wording options to choose from. Together, we will refine the wording until it’s perfectly you.

Letterpress invitations for a Wellington wedding at Boomrock

Lilac & orange wedding colour palette

This Wellington wedding set at Boomrock was the perfect backdrop for a colourful celebration. The custom invitation suite was designed to featured lilac letterpress ink and coordinating handmade envelopes paired with delicate white to add softness with handmade and vellum papers. A playful nod to the venue set-up with orange and lilac theme, hand drawn orange leaves were scattered throughout the invitation suite. The ‘juicy’ details card was a play on words with orange juice and featured a custom venue illustration and hand drawn map to the Boomrock venue.

LETTERPRESS INVITATIONS

WEDDING VENUE ILLUSTRATION

WEDDING MENUS

Custom die cut menus with a wavy bottom, printed on soft blush cardstock with lilac ink. Guest names were added on vellum paper in gold metallic ink tying in with the gold cutlery. Dried orange slices were placed under the vellum for a literal pop of orange!

WEDDING SIGNS

CHAMPAGNE TOWER DREAMS

THE FINER DETAILS - DREAM TEAM

Photography Olivia Melhop Weddings // Wedding stationery, signage & calligraphy ~ The Ess Letter // Event styling & coordination ~ The Wedding Coach // Wedding venue ~ Boomrock Ohariu Valley // Florals ~ Joy Florals // Gowns ~ Paperswan Bride // Cake ~ Stiletto Studio // Linen ~ Tble Linen // Candles ~ Candle Co Australia // Hair & Make-up ~ Courtney H Taylor // Fashion Stylist ~ Jane Durham Styling // Suits ~ Rembrand 1946 // Jewellery ~ Crystal and Cord Jewellery // Videographer ~ Tinted Productions // BTS Videographer ~ Light Chamber Productions // Models & couple Danika & Joseph Thomas

Featured on NZ Bride & Groom magazine

Fall in love with a rust and burgundy wedding colour palette

A fall wedding colour palette

Curating a colour palette is one of my favourite parts of stationery design. We pull inspiration from all areas of your wedding - from florals to venue, to bridesmaids dresses and table linens. And we add in lighter and darker shades to create a paper palette that is perfect for your wedding day.

Take this fall inspired cosy styled wedding shoot where deep burgundy, bold rust, burnt orange, soft neutrals, and light pink are woven throughout the venue, decor, make-up and stationery.

Wellington wedding stationery

Public Trust wedding venue

Wedding venue illustration

Wellington wedding vendors

Photos by Wendy Bowie Photography

Styling, florals & planning: Magnolia Wedding & Events

Gowns: Astra Bridal Wellington

Venue: Public Trust Hall

Stationery: The Ess Letter

Makeup: Zoe the Makeup Artist

Hair: Veronica Makeup Studio

Linens: Tble. Linen

Model: Ashley Clark

Your wedding guest list and covid-19

Does love conquer all, including covid-19?

The reality is that everyone around the world is tackling the virus, and many countries have put in place restrictions to help combat the spread. And if you’re planning a wedding during a pandemic, it can feel like a deflating experience with ever-changing updates. In New Zealand, even after reaching elimination of the virus, we’ve seen a resurgence, and our restrictions have come back into play. At any given moment, the restrictions can change… for better or worse.

Restrictions on wedding guest count

So how to plan a wedding with so much uncertainty? When it comes to wedding invitations, the three areas you need to know are the venue, the wedding date, and the number of guests you are inviting. If your original guest list is too high, and you need to reduce your guest count due to restrictions on gatherings, here are some tips on how to pare it down:

• Overseas guests - Chances are, overseas guests are likely not able to travel as easily as they had hoped. Start here, count your guests who are travelling from overseas - see where that number takes you.

• Out of town guests - Just like overseas guests, it’s possible that out of town guests may find it a bit of a challenge to attend depending on how far they need to travel. Look at your guests from out of town and consider those travelling a large distance that might be okay with cancelling their plans.

• Those invitees that you felt you had to invite - Yes, we all have a few of these people on the list. Often they come from obligation or maybe your parents felt they needed to be invited. These guests may have been pleasantly surprised to be invited, but chances are they will totally understand your need to pare down your guest list knowing they aren’t super close to you or your partner.

• The guests who were probably going to decline - There’s a chance you’ll have guests on your list that were unable to attend anyways, if you know of any, add them to your no-go list.

• Kids - This one is a hot topic with wedding planning in general, is your wedding adults only or not? If you were planning to have kids at your wedding, this is one area you may wish to revisit. It’s a tricky one, so you’ll have to be comfortable with the new plan of letting guests know you’ve pared down to adults only. (Often couples that have adult-only weddings still allow babies to attend with their parents).

• Plus 1’s - Ah, another hot topic, those plus 1 guests that are bringing a date you’ve never met. This is kinda an easy one to explain to a guest, that you’ve needed to pare down to bring your closest friends (and family) together, but it can sometimes be a bit hard for a loved one to understand. If you have a high number of plus 1’s that you’ve never met, consider reducing these guests - but proceed with a bit of caution. There’s a bit to consider with this one, especially if the two guests are in a relationship.

• Consider a family-only event - Take it one step further and go with just family. This one is a hard decision to make because you’ve been looking forward to celebrating with all your friends too. On the other hand, going with family only is probably one of the easier ways to explain to others that they are no longer invited.

From here, if you still need to pare down you guest list further, you’ll have some hard decisions to make. It can be helpful to create a guideline of someone on the yes list or not. For example, you could agree with your partner that only guests you both know, or only guests you’ve known for a period of time. It’s not easy, especially when thinking of those close to you.

Change of plans - invitation wording

If you haven’t sent out your wedding invites, the good news is you won’t have to send out a change of plans, however you may wish to have a stand by explanation to those who might have been looking forward to attending based on your earlier plans.

But, if you have sent out your invites you may have to send a couple of different messages depending on the changes. Here are some change of plans wording examples:

GUESTS NO LONGER INVITED

Change of plans

With an abundance of caution and care for our guests, we have decided to marry in a small intimate ceremony. We sincerely appreciate your love and support, and ask that you celebrate in your heart with best wishes from afar. We look forward to when we can be together again.

With all our love, (your names)

ADDING A LIVE STREAM OPTION

Change of plans

With an abundance of caution and care for our guests, we have decided to marry in a small intimate ceremony. We sincerely appreciate your love and support, and would love if you could join us virtually instead as we say ‘I do’.

(include virtual details)

With all our love, (your names)

INVITED GUEST COUNT CHANGE

In light of the current health restrictions in our country, our wedding is sadly smaller than intended. We have reserved # of seats for you and hope you can join us as we celebrate our wedding day. Please reply by (date) to let us know if you can still attend.

All our love, (your names)

NEW DATE

Same couple, same place, new date!

(include updated details - add on any of the above info as needed)

Covid-19 wedding restrictions

Having to tell guests they are no longer invited is not easy, and can feel awkward. Take a little comfort knowing that your guests are all facing the same restrictions in life, and while you can’t control how people respond, there’s a high chance many guests will totally understand that you have to pare down your guest count due to the pandemic.